THAT WAS THE BOX – May 2015 (Week Two) | TV Reviews


Read our latest review on BENEFITS STREET 2015
 

BENEFITS STREET
 

This week saw the return of ‘Benefits Street‘, and this year we are meeting the residents of the Tilery Estate in Stockton-on-Tees. On first viewing, they made White Dee’s lot look like the Middletons. A young man openly smoking bongs on camera, his brother delivering drugs; turning up at court forty minutes late, dressed in a vest and shorts. Children throwing bottles and eggs at press photographers. It all made for grim viewing, but here comes the rub. The success of series one has had an impact on this series, and the people being filmed are more savvy and know what is going to shock. Kudos to Channel Four in that the programme does not shy away from the harsh reality of life on benefits, unlike Channel Five who are guilty of producing a raft of ‘poverty porn’ (google it, Maxwell), most of which paints the poorest in our society as being scroungers, spongers and criminals. Yes, we have that in ‘Benefits Street‘, with the likes of the afore-said Maxwell, a complex young man who seems very bright, but claims to have no memory. He gets paid handsomely for it, and manages to remember how to produce cannabis and have sunbeds. Maxwell to me is a victim of the failing education system. He is clearly a clever lad, but I guess was probably overlooked at school or labelled as being naughty and not given any encouragement. Now his life is a round of court cases, arrests and getting stoned.
 

But we also got to see the other side of the coin with Julie, a mum of several kids, who is living on benefits so she can look after her severely disabled fifteen year old son. Anyone who failed to be moved when Julie was singing The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face to the little boy, must be Katie Hopkins. Julie is proof that we do need a benefits system, because I dare say the money she gets each week for caring for the child is a lot less than it would be to keep him in an institution of some sort.
 

This year’s Funghi is a man called Lee, who lives a shambolic existence with his poor little dog. Lee’s partner committed suicide and he has never recovered and now lives on anti-depressants and £45 a week – if he remembers to sign on. His house is a tip and he is looked after by the likes of Julie and her friend Sue. There is also Dot, who has been labelled ‘Orange Dot’ by the press, but is no such thing because her father is Indian and her skin tone is natural. But when did a little thing like racism stop the papers being offensive?
 

The local, then national press got wind that Kingston Road was being filmed by Channel Four and turned up to get a bit of the action. The residents were having none of it, and most of the respectable, middle class journalists wore expressions like Kate Adie’s when she used to report from the Middle East for BBC News. I truly think they would not have been shocked if someone had launched a mortar attack at them. Instead they got eggs and a bucket of what suspiciously looked like piss. The residents objected to their lives being intruded by an uninvited press, and told them to go away. It’s okay to be filmed by Channel Four, but not the local newspaper for some reason.
 

Hilarity came when Allan Cunningham, the local MP turned up, supposedly to vent his anger at his constituents being exploited by the nasty telly people, when in truth I fear it was that with an election coming up (at the time) he didn’t want the country knowing that people like this existed in his constituency and had been left to rot on an estate that had been largely deserted. The battleaxes of Kingston Road stood their ground and told him where to get off, and good on them. They would have been better off being nicer to the press, because let’s face it, journalists wield far more power than MPs.

 

Read the Latest TV Reviews - Big Brother Timebomb 2015 - Channel 5
 

BIG BROTHER – TIMEBOMB
 

So this week we welcomed the sixteenth ‘civilian’ series of ‘Big Brother‘. The theme is timebomb, which means that the producers can throw in any old bobbins to mix things up, whenever the ratings start to drop. The house has been revamped to look like an Ikea version of a Bond villain’s home, and the diary room looks like it’s been designed by someone who’s taken a little too much acid. I can’t say any of the contestants inspire me to watch it day in day out, but I thought I would share my initial thoughts with you;
 

Chloe is a loud, gobby northerner, who appears to find anyone who isn’t from Doncaster as exotic mysteries. She’s one of those forgettable constants who’ll probably be there towards the end of the series, largely because no one remembers who she is and she slips under the radar and no one bothers to vote her out.
 
Keiran sounds like a Muppet. Seriously. I don’t mean a stupid person, I mean one of Jim Henson’s creations. His squeaky voice is hilarious and I find myself unable to concentrate on what he is actually doing, because all I can hear is that voice. So far, he seems like a bit of a wally, like Winston, last year, but I’ve seen a few lecherous tendencies, so the jury’s out.
 
Simon claimed to be Mr Showbiz. He was a camp show off who appeared to be the lovechild of Louis Spence and the Mitchell Brothers. He lasted all of two hours because he was the victim of BB’s first time-bomb and voted himself out. I can’t say I was sorry to see him go, he was irritating in the extreme.
 
Jade is a model from Dublin who doesn’t fail to mention that she’s polyamorous (greedy in my book), and in her head is far prettier than she actually is. Don’t get me wrong, she’s very attractive, but I don’t think all the men fancy her like she seems to be under the impression they do. I can see her rubbing people (girls) up the wrong way pretty quickly.
 
Joel is a student and budding politician. He travels by scooter, like Po in ‘Teletubbies‘ and is so dull, I fear he may be Gary Barlow’s love-child. Apparently he couldn’t live without his slippers and dressing gown and so far, like Chloe, he appears to be slipping under the radar.
 
Christian is very pretty, but hysterical in that he is clearly a posh boy, but he talks like Ali G and looks like a member of One Direction. I think he could be Tim Westwood’s love-child. But a lot better looking, obvs. So far there have been lots of lingering shots on his body as he works out, which not many women or gay men will object to. But I’m not sure what else he brings to the house.
 
So far Harriet is my favourite. She’s a little firebrand, common as muck and proud that she works in a café. I’ll overlook the fact that she voted for UKIP. At least she voted I suppose. If this was ‘Big Brother‘ the sitcom she would be played by Kathy Burke. It’s so refreshing these days to see a genuine working class person on TV who is not ashamed of being rough and ready, but at the same time isn’t someone who looks as though they failed the audition to get on ‘The Jeremy Kyle Show‘. I’d have Harriet down as a possible winner.
 
I recognised Jack ‘Pie Face’ from my days of being on the dole and watching ‘Deal or No Deal‘ every day. I remembered being shocked that someone who was clearly still at school was allowed onto a show which encourages gambling. Then it transpired he was actually forty-seven or something, and I was shocked, and I’m guessing most of the beauty companies will be queuing up to speak to him and find out what his secret is, because he doesn’t even look as though he’s started shaving yet. The public love him so far, and voted him the winner in a mock vote. He was given the chance to drive away in a brand new BMW, leaving the house immediately and emptying the winner’s prize fund. Jack gallantly eschewed the car and remained where he is. At this time, I would say he’s still a likely winner.
 
Amy and Sally are twins from Manchester. They’re both stunning blondes and I’m guessing are very popular with the male viewers. I suspect if they were there as individuals they would be forgettable, but because they’re twins, people are going to remember them. So far they seem good fun, but three months is a long time.
 
Adjoa is a pastor’s daughter, who claims to be obsessed with boobs. She reckons she can be a psycho bitch, but I haven’t seen any evidence of this so far, but on saying that, she does give off the air that only a fool would cross her.
 
Nick is a curiosity. On first appearances he comes across like a twat. A little rich boy who does nothing for a living after being expelled from several schools. But as his personality is unravelling (quickly), he appears to be a bundle of insecurities and nerves and it’s clear he isn’t good mixing with people, so living with thirteen strangers is going to be difficult. Especially seeing as his time-bomb was that he has to do face-to-face nominations each week.
 
Danny is this year’s Ash. Nice to look at, down to earth and seems to get along with everyone. A bit bland, but in a house full of crazy people, I guess someone has to be level-headed.
 
Sarah could be this year’s Helen. I get the feeling she is a bit misunderstood and people have already labelled her a bitch. A throw away comment about only dating men with money, seeing as she has a daughter to support, seems to have been misconstrued and she’s now down as a gold-digger. I do think Sarah will be like Marmite in the house, polarising the opinions of both her fellow house-mates and the viewers.
 
Aaron is a model who only recently came out to his mum. Seriously. If he behaved how he does in the house, at home, how did his mum not know? Aaron’s likeable in a sort of small doses way, and is already shaping up to be one of the larger characters in the house. If he just calms down a little and avoids becoming this year’s Mark, he could stay the distance.
 
Eileen was on ‘X Factor‘, I remember her clearly. She looks like Alicia Douvall’s corpse and she is seriously wacky. Her face is so botoxed that it is impossible to determine her true age, what she’s thinking, feeling or if she is indeed human. Appearances aside, she seems very sweet, but one has to look beyond the scary face to get to the personality.
 

I can’t promise to report on ‘BB‘ every week, but I might well touch back in a few weeks and let you know if my opinions of the house-mates have changed.

 

Find the Latest TV Reviews 2015 - The Game Episode 3 - BBC2
 

THE GAME
 

I’m continuing to play spot the ‘Sherlock‘ actor this week. We have Anderson now playing nice guy bugging expert Alan Montag. There is Su Lin Yao from ‘The Blind Banker‘ playing Daddy’s bit on the side, who appears to be playing him, in order to stay in the country. I suspect not just because she doesn’t fancy returning to Hong Kong. We also had the guy who played the CIA agent who was after Irene Adler in ‘A Scandal in Belgravia‘, playing another CIA agent who was squiring a beautiful MI6 agent called Kate Wilkinson, who was the target of our spooky friends. Sexy Joe was sent to seduce her, but Kate outwitted him at every twist and turn, and by the end of the episode, I was still confused as to whose side she was on; but we did ascertain that Operation Glass is a big ruse and the Ruskies are planning something else. Poor old Kate was carted off to a detention camp to have her fingernails pulled out, and Joe was no nearer finding Odin.
 

I still don’t trust weedy Wendy, and find it weird that she wants to remain living in Bobby’s attic with him and his dragon of a mother. What do they say? The quiet ones are the worst.

 

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