THAT WAS THE BOX – February 2015 (Week Two)

‘ASYLUM – STRANGE BEDFELLOWS‘ (BBC4 – BBC IPLAYER)
 

This new comedy, based on an original idea by the very funny Kayvan Novak, is supposed to be a satire, but I’m not sure that satire is Novak’s forte. He is an incredibly talented guy, but as the hilarious Raz Prince in ‘Phoneshop‘, his character is stupid and pantomime-ish. Even in the highly satirical ‘Four Lions‘, his character, Waj was arguably the most slapstick and dumb. ‘Asylum‘ is his take on the Julian Assange affair, with Ben Miller playing Dan Hern, a serious, CIA whistleblower who is holed up in the fictional El Rican embassy, because if he steps foot outside, the Americans will execute him.
 

There is a strong cast in this, with Novak as the Ambassador’s son, who will do anything to get people to attend the embassy ball so he can promote his little-known country. Ludo Backslash, the infantile internet hacker is played by the lovely Dustin Demri-Burns from ‘Cardinal Burns‘, and Yasmine Akram (Sherlock’s Janine) plays Rosa, the Ambassador’s beautiful daughter, who Dan has a thing for – which is not reciprocated. And there is no doubt that the show was very funny, but rather than a satirical look at the way the internet has created heroes and villains from outsiders, instead it is essentially yet another odd couple comedy. Dan is bitter, dour, takes himself far too seriously and no one really likes him.
 

Ludo is puppyish, has a weird Danish/Swedish/Welsh accent, likes to spend his day playing computer games, and everyone loves him. This to me is not satire, it is a classic comedy structure. Put two very different people in a situation they cannot get out of and watch how they unravel. It’s been a staple since ‘Steptoe and Son‘.
 

But this is no reason not to check it out. It was funny and quite light-hearted given the subject. I just wonder if Assange is able to watch it from the Ecuadorian embassy.

 

‘THE GIFT‘ (BBC1- BBC IPLAYER)
 

This show is a total rip-off of ‘Long Lost Family‘, but we’ll overlook that and see it for what it is. Mel Giedroyc and Matt Baker try to reunite people with someone who they upset, or who helped them in some way, many years ago, so they can thank them or apologise. It sounds quite contrived, but the programme was actually touching and thought-provoking. Mel was helping an elderly lady called Grace, who over fifty years ago, was dumped by Hermann, her German boyfriend, for getting pregnant by the fiancé he wanted her to throw over. After an unhappy marriage and what seemed like an unfulfilled life, Grace has spent years wanting to apologise to Hermann for treating him badly.
 

Matt was helping Patrick, a very brave former soldier who lost part of his left arm and his right hand in a mortar attack in Northern Ireland in the late 1980s. He was rescued by an army helicopter that landed in terrain that wasn’t authorised for landing, and taken to hospital when he made a recovery and met his wife in the process. Using scant information, Matt (the researchers obviously) traced the man who had rescued Patrick, and he was indeed Alex Cary, the son of an aristocrat who was now in Hollywood working as a top producer. The reunion between Alex and Patrick was touching and in some ways disturbing. Especially as Alex shed tears over something that happened nearly thirty years ago, bringing home that no matter how soldiers move on with their lives, the horrors they see never leave them.
 

Hermann clearly did not hold Grace’s memory in as high esteem as she did him. When Mel went to visit him in Pennsylvania, and his response to Grace’s guilt over what she did, was met with a puzzled shrug. After all, he had married and had a family since and didn’t see what Grace did was so bad for him. Nevertheless, he came to England and was reunited with Grace, after Mel gave her a good talking to – warning her that Hermann did not feel the same way as her. It was sweet to see the two of them together, reminiscing over old times and the final captions revealed Grace has already visited Hermann twice, so it looks like she’s still determined to get her man.
 

This may be a copy of ‘Long Lost Family‘. But these shows all rip each other off. It was heart-warming and moving, and doesn’t everyone like something that makes them go “ahh”.

 

‘THE GREAT BRITISH SEWING BEE‘ (BBC2 – BBC IPLAYER)
 

I am not going to go on about Patrick Grant in this review. I am going to concentrate on the programme. We have nine contestants left and their remit this week was to make children’s clothes. The first task was to make a lined waistcoat, which frankly, to a non-sewer just looked like a load of confusing nonsense. The most technical thing I’ve ever made was a bag in my Textile Arts O’level and I even managed to balls that up! Young Ryan did incredibly well seeing as his only prior experience of making small clothes was for his stuffed toys. Alex on the other hand carried on her form from last week and got flustered, did things wrong, got flustered again and didn’t have time to finish the thing she started. I’m starting to find Lt Louis Spence, Neil a little too smug. Okay you make clothes for your wife as well as being all manly and playing rugby yada yada yada. There’s nothing quite so annoying at the beginning of a competition than the person who thinks they’ve already got it in the bag. I was quite glad that Ryan won the challenge, although Lorna could not hide her annoyance at coming second.
 

The alteration challenge was to transform a yellow t-shirt and a floral dress into something else, and this really tested people’s imagination. Some people really went to down, especially (and it pains me to say it) Neil, who created a pair of boxing shorts and matching boxing gloves, and the lovely Carmen Miranda (ask your nan) dress that Lorna made. But all smug Amanda the schoolteacher could come up with was a lame cape, and the least said about Alex’s harem pants the better. Neil won this round, and once again Lorna was not happy about coming second.
 

The final challenge was to make 3D fancy dress outfits for children. For me the cutest outfit was made by big bear Paul, who made an elephant costume with a pink tutu. Most disappointing was the fox outfit made by Ryan that was just basically a jacket with a hood with foxy bits glued on it. Even the kid modelling it seemed to be walking with his head hung low. Of course Neil had to show off and make an outfit that looked like a mobile phone, and Amanda seemed to miss the brief completely and made a flapper dress with a hat that had some feather’s sticking out of it, to give it structure. It was a pretty outfit, but not really what they were looking for. Deborah with the red hair and Matt who looks like a doctor out of ‘Casualty‘, both made peacock costumes. Deborah’s worked as long as the child kept her arms up. Matt’s wobbled and fell like an undercooked soufflé. To my delight, Paul won, and quite rightly, Alex went home. I felt so sorry for the child who had to model her stupid half-finished cupcake costume.
 

Next week they’re going back to the 1950s and using fabric popular back then, and seeing as Patrick and his lovely moustache look as though they’ve come out of a bygone age, he should fit right in.