THAT WAS THE BOX – March 2015 (Week Three) | TV Reviews

‘THE ONLY WAY IS ESSEX‘ (ITVBE – ITV PLAYER)
 

Seriously, what has happened to this series of ‘TOWIE‘? It started so well, with storylines that didn’t just revolve around who slept with who. But suddenly, we have had three episodes dedicated to a dispute over who kissed Lauren Pope, and two silly girls (Fran and Georgia) blanking each other and their boyfriends getting involved. The addition of new bad boy Jake has done nothing for the programme. He’s uncomfortable in front of the camera. He often mumbles and we know far too little about him and Chloe L to really give a stuff about their dramas. I just feel sorry for Lauren. First she had Lewis Bloor accusing her of being forty, now she has Jake denying kissing her. It’s time they found her a nice man who appreciates her.
 

I can’t help but feel the series has lost its way somewhat, and there are times when I find myself drifting off a bit. It just feels like walking around and around in a revolving door, with nothing really changing.
 

Anyway, also In ‘TOWIE‘;
 

• Ferne is borrowing the horrid lipstick this week. It is so vivid, if I was watching in HD, I fear I would get a migraine.
• Jessica is dating smiley Dan E, who seems very nice, but completely devoid of personality.
• Jake is possibly one of the most unpleasant men we have had on ‘TOWIE‘. The way he talks to women is disgusting.
• Arg is getting thinner, whilst his skin gets more orange.
• Chloe Sims wears clothes to the gym that look as though they’ve come from a porn shoot about a horny personal trainer.
• Lydia has a new boyfriend, but I get the impression he does not want to be seen on-screen.

 

I wonder why….

 


 

‘RAISED BY WOLVES‘ (CHANNEL 4 – 4OD)
 

The new comedy based on writer Caitlin Moran’s upbringing was one of the funniest things I’ve seen on TV for a while. Certain male critics will complain that it was too female and that no one wants to hear jokes about periods blah blah blah. Well, this is an issue that effects half the population, so up yours!
 

The story focuses on the three eldest sisters – Germaine, Aretha and Yoko, all raised by their witty, Amazonian mother Della, who also has three ‘babbies’ to care for, and her eccentric dad ‘grampy’ who enjoys going into explicit detail about his sex life with her mother. Germaine is a mass of teenage hormones, and is infatuated with Lee Rhind, the local bully who is not dissimilar to the character of Mark Donovan from ‘The Inbetweeners‘. Aretha is sensible, humourless and the voice of reason in this crazy family, and sensitive Yoko is torn between her two older sisters, believing everything they tell her.
 

In this episode, Della takes the kids to the local common to forage for food for their tea, poor Yoko starts her periods and it becomes a talking point for the whole family, and Germaine gets her hand stuck in the letter box of the house she presumes to be Lee Rhind’s. Much to her mortification, the house belongs to his neighbours and she has to be rescued by her mother, who turns up wielding an axe!
 

It was refreshing to have a comedy written by women for women, addressing things that are normally swept under the carpet. In Germaine we have a teenage girl who is just as obsessed with sex as a boy the same age; and most women start their periods at some point and have the massive responsibility of becoming a woman thrust upon them when they’re not ready, like Yoko has. Maybe a few men could learn a lesson after watching this, that yes, our issues are funny too, just make sure you laugh with us, not at us. Women have been the butt of jokes for far too long.

 


 

‘THINGS WE WON’T SAY ABOUT RACE THAT ARE TRUE‘ (CHANNEL 4 – 4OD)
 

I don’t know where to start with this documentary. Former head of the Commission for Racial Equality, Trevor Phillips, wrote and presented this look at Britain’s racial map in 2015, and the issues some people are afraid to address. As someone who has spent a large part of her working life, handling data, I know that results are often open to interpretation, and those doing the number crunching can only work with the data they are given. It’s a bit like the television viewing figures. In reality only a few thousand people have the boxes fitted to their TVs that measure what they are watching. It’s not a true picture of the nation. So, when Phillips claimed that for instance, only one in two hundred Britons are Jewish. Well, if on a census form someone recorded the wrong religion, or may consider themselves atheist, when in reality they were born Jewish. The data is unreliable.
 

But there is no getting away from the fact that people – largely white and working class – are flocking to UKIP and seeing them as an alternative to the mainstream parties who they feel have forgotten them. Some would argue that this is because a lot of white people feel they are a forgotten section of society and they deserve a party that looks after their interests. To me, it is a classic case of divide and conquer. We are governed by a party that is influenced by class and money, and if it’s easier for those on the lower register to blame each other (surely the rise in young, poor people from ethnic minorities being groomed into joining ISIS cannot be a coincidence) then so be it. No one is looking at the real reason why the poor are getting poorer and the rich seem to go unpunished for screwing everyone else.
 

I found the documentary very London-centric. As someone who has always lived in South London, the fact that most drug crime south of the capital is committed by Colombians, comes as no surprise. But to someone living in another part of the UK, where they perhaps have only seen a person from an ethnic minority on TV, then they are open to believing whatever they’re told. It was also interesting that most of the people interviewed were male, so we could get into a whole other argument that women maybe hold different opinions on race altogether, but this wasn’t addressed. For example, in mixed-race relationships, why is it that in the majority of cases, the white partner is female?
 

It was a courageous attempt by both Phillips and C4 to address and sensitive subject which effects us all, but it is such a deep subject, that surely one ninety minute documentary isn’t enough? A whole series could be made from it. And surely Phillips should have spoken to someone from the Express or the Mail, two of the papers guiltiest of fuelling race-filled hatred with their claims of Romanians invading Britain, and Somalis being given six bedroom council houses. These are the people who help drive middle England to vote UKIP, but they remain unquestioned and allowed to continue spreading their distorted vision of Britain.
 

On a trivial note. Footage was shown of a debate Phillips took part in a few years ago, and one of the panelists was David Milliband, and I could only shake my head and wonder why they chose the other brother to lead the Labour Party. Also, isn’t Tony Blair looking old? Anyone would think sending thousands of young men to an unnecessary war, weighed heavily on his conscience.
 

To quote Ben Elton circa 1985 “ooh a little bit of politics there”.